So I am home from the wonderous experience that is Viable Paradise.  As they say: to those that have not experienced it, no words will convey, and to those that have, no words are necessary.  For any such intense experiences, that is a true encapsulation of how we, as people, process them.  How then can I convey, dear readers, what it is like?

A good friend asked me what I thought was the best pece of advice I learned at VP.  I don't recall exactly what I responded with, but  I thought about that for some time after, as you do.  Contemplating as I washed the dishes and cleared the table from dinner, etc.  Now I think the best piece of advice will change for me over time.  What I walked away from the conference firmly in my head, has already shifted over the course of the long journey home, and the brief respite of a few days before diving headlong back into the work-a-day treadmill that is ordinary life.  I expect that to change over the weeks and months, probably years to come.   Sometimes, we're just not ready for the lesson that life and opporutunity present to us now.  But if we are careful, if we are lucky, and hoard a piece of that away, perhaps when we are ready, we will stand in the middle of a store somewhere and say: Aha!  I know what that means now.  Then go on to put that into practice.

We twenty-four students all came to the workshop at somewhat different points in our carreers.  Some younger, some older.  Some more accomplished, some with few or no successes yet under our belts.  I would be surprised if you asked all of us that same question you didn't find twenty-four different responses.  That's human nature.  What surprised me, though perhaps shouldn't have, was the hints I saw of the instructors also going through their own Aha! moments.  I guess there is truth that a part of teaching, is learning things anew.  Learning, it seems, like many other aspects of the world, is a cyclical thing.

I find it very hard to sum up a week of intinsity in any small way, but if I had to, I think I would say: be true. 

It seems, perhaps, strange to say that.  Since we, as writers of fiction, are inherently liars.  We tell made up crazy stories to entertain.  But so many of the lessons at the core, about the writing voice, about what we have to say, what we care about, what moves us, that's as close as I can get to summing it up.   It reminds me of a scene in Walk the Line

There's a scene when Johnny Cash is trying out for Sam Phillips.  He and his band are singing something, and it's sort of mediocre.  It's not bad, but it's not special.  Sam stops them, and is ready to dismiss them.  Johnny, incredulous, asks why.  Is it the song?  Or how I sing it.  Sam comes back with a great line, that I'm about to flub.  He tells Johnny that he's just going through the motions, one of dozens of decent sounding gospel singers, but that he doesn't believe it.  He doesn't believe how Johnny feels as he sings that song.  Then he says, "if you have one song to sing, if you lay dying in the gutter, and had time to sing one last song, what would it be?"  And of course, being a movie, Johnny comes back with Folsom Prison Blues. 

I don't know if I can answer every single time that if I only had time enough to tell one more story, the one I'm writing is it.  But I aim to work as if it were.
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From: [identity profile] temporus.livejournal.com


I did indeed. Thanks for all the nudges. It helped get me past that little voice that said: "You aren't good enough."

From: [identity profile] temporus.livejournal.com


That was definitely one of my takeaways. Not sure if it's comforting, or a bit scary that the nagging sensation may never go away. I guess it's just something we have to figure out how to deal with.

From: [identity profile] beth-bernobich.livejournal.com


For me, it's a reality check against self-doubt. I know too many Real Writers who get occasional bouts of Imposter Syndrome. Makes it easier for me to get through my own bouts.

From: [identity profile] temporus.livejournal.com


Self-doubt is a particular chronic issue for me. As I mentioned in a chat with Sherwood, I even get it for my day job. I have days where I wonder if someone is going to figure out that I faked my way into the IT field, and they're going to just say: sorry, you're not good enough, or you don't have the real credentials, etc. That's for a career I've been making a living at for 17 years now. The day job, however, has the advantage of: there's so much damn work to do, I don't have time to sit and dwell in the self flaggelation. I'll have to push myself so that the writing is in the same boat. When I'm busy writing, I don't have the time to think so much about whether I'm good enough. I have a story to finish. As long as I can make sure I'm under pressure/busy enough, I might not have the time to think about whether I'm good enough.

From: [identity profile] sartorias.livejournal.com


Very glad to see this--still unpacking things I learned, myself.

From: [identity profile] temporus.livejournal.com


I can't speak for any of the other students, but watching even our instructors eyes light up over the course of the week--as if they'd had some minor epiphany over something they'd been puzzling about--it really helped me remember that we're all still learning. Even those ahead of us on the path. And that the learning is a *good* thing.

From: [identity profile] sartorias.livejournal.com


Well said. I felt synapses firing all week, and was itching to get back to rewrite the stuff that had been dissected earlier by the small critique group that met at [livejournal.com profile] asakiyume's.

From: [identity profile] temporus.livejournal.com


It was. So much good information, my brain is overflowing. Going to take some long time to absorb and internalize all the lessons. Just about the right length of time. Much longer, and I might well have imploded, and long enough to develop a rapport with the other students. Already miss them.

From: [identity profile] theresa (from livejournal.com)

Still digesting


I think it will be a long time before all of the things we learned are fully applicable, but that's a good thing. One day it'll click, and fix a problem we didn't know we had until then. Good luck :)

From: [identity profile] temporus.livejournal.com

Re: Still digesting


I would agree. I think that's a feature of the way VP is structured. Luck to you too! Make sure to take good care of your plot tomatoes.

From: [identity profile] dmbonanno.com (from livejournal.com)

Hell yeah


:) All that and more. Very glad we were in the same class, Ed. It was wonderful meeting up with you and reading your work.

To the workshop that was ahead of its time ;) and the joy of plot tomatoes. :D

From: [identity profile] temporus.livejournal.com

Re: Hell yeah


:) The feeling is mutual. It was great having a buddy to stand up with me on the firing line.

As for plot tomatoes, I prefer mine green and fried. Yum.
eimarra: (Default)

From: [personal profile] eimarra


It sounds like an absolutely fabulous week! I love your final two sentences -- a very good approach, I think.

From: [identity profile] temporus.livejournal.com


Indeed. And my fingers will be crossed so that your application for next year goes well. Then Dawn and I will be able to chant: one of us, one of us!

PS, I might be sending you a short story for some feeback, after I finish some revisions. Think I could twist your arm to read another Peter Walden short? :)
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