Alert: Max Payne Sucks!

[temporus]

My wife and child were away yesterday.  So I found myself with a little time to kill, and decided to go to the movies.  I don't get out much to the theater, so I figured why not.  I chose a movie that I figured my wife wouldn't want to see, on the small chance that sometime in the near future we might get out to the movies together.  I looked through the selections and decided on Max Payne.   Wow.  That was an abhorrently stupid movie.  In fact, I'm going to say this: Do not go to this movie.  If you got suckered in by interesting commercials, I'll save you the $10.  It's just bad drug trips.  No really.  That's it.  Nothing interesting.  The plot is so bland you'll probably figure out the whole thing within the first ten minutes.  The acting is wooden...bleh.  Really.  The good guys.  The bad guys.  The ? love interest?  Mila Kunis sorta plays some hot badass mercenary.  I think.  But she disappears for huge chunks of the movie, for no good reason, and they do nothing useful with her character.  There's just nothing there.  I got so bored I pulled out my blackberry to read email.  Seriously glad that I didn't drag my poor wife along to this one.  I would have never lived it down.  Heck, I'm not sure I forgive myself for this movie yet.  I'm not even sure it's worth watching on cable if you don't have to pay for it.

I repeat, don't waste your time with this one.

Comments

[karistan.livejournal.com]

Good thing I wasn't in the mood to go to the movies today or we would have gone to see this one. Thanks for saving me two hours of Paine that I will never get back (not to mention the $20 less concessions). Thanks for the save! :)

[sartorias.livejournal.com]

I've heard elsewhere it's a stinkeroo.

[patrick roberts (from livejournal.com)]

i suspect the storyline for Max Payne is a lot more exciting when it's happening in the form of a video game... except for those few exciting parts that i already saw in the preview, it was a snoozefest

[temporus.livejournal.com]

Video games translating into movies is hard. Right now, they seem to fail more often than succeed. A shame, but its true. On the other hand, at least some of those that I wouldn't really go see in the theater, I could at least enjoy on the small screen. Doom, the Resident Evil franchise, etc. None of them are great movies, but fun enough for home viewing. Had I been home, I would have been scanning through the channels for something more interesting to watch.

[(Anonymous)]

It's never a good thing to waste Mila Kunis.

-kb

[temporus.livejournal.com]

I know, right? There's a point where you think she might be important to the movie, but really, not. The character ends up adding nothing, except the veneer of some hot woman carrying heavy caliber guns. Bleh.